Tonight, Christchurch’s most intoxicated support band – Von Klap – will be playing before Faster Pussycat Kill Kill who are down from Wellington and well worth a look.

Then tomorrow night we have Nightchoir down from Auckland. These guys are seriously cool and well worth a look. Check out their MySpace here.

Last month’s Steve will be best remembered for his commentary on Tim’s favourite Clara Rockmore track, when he said, “The Theremin has the timbre of a cello but without any of the subtleties of its phrasing”. As the instrument moved into its upper range, he looked surprised and said “My, now it sounds like a female soprano with very good control of her vibrato.”

It is moments like this when I think to myself “This is exactly what people that hate this place imagine it to be like…”

September’s Steve is the Steve who plays in local bands Bits ‘n’ Pieces and the Dance Asthmatics (who have just put out 2 EP’s, one of  which you can download for free here).

Influential local record store owner Dave Imlay says “the thing about Bits ‘n’Pieces is that John thinks they’re a sixties band and Steve thinks they’re the Fall and somehow – in a fucked up way – they end up sounding like Pavement.”

Steve drinks at Goodbye Blue Monday less since “its not as good as it used to be” and these days can be found at Schroders in Shirley, where he tells me they have a piece of wood on which they have burned “Drinking Tomorrows Beer Today”. Steve and I have decided means “Being Alcoholics”.

Bits ‘n’ Pieces are playing here this Thursday night.

Here’s this month’s Steve with a bottle of Southern Comfort and a lime…

On Monday night we had Theology on Tap, where various groups from local churches gather for discussions on social issues. This month, the talker was a monk who was discharged without conviction for his attack on the Waihopai spy base. Whether you agree with his actions or not, the debate was an interesting one.

Then on Thursday night we had Dr. Sketchy’s life drawing in a bar event. With a punk theme and a couple of events behind them, this was the best Sketchy’s yet, and I was so busy that I didn’t even have time to slack off and draw motorbikes.

I like the idea that in the same week, we have a priest, a monk and two chicks with their tits out up on the same stage. It sounds like the start of a joke.

So if you’ve got some crazy idea for an event that’s outside the square, why not come in and drink beer and scheme with us?

A 50ish dandy of a homosexual walks into a bar (this bar) and after ordering his drinks says to Tim:

“What type of customer do you get here?”

To which Tim replies:

“Mainly art fags…”

To which there is a stony silence and Tim realises sue of the word “fag” may offend some homos, and he wants to say: “Hey, I’m gay myself” but knows that it will sound too much like “I’m not racist, some of my best friends are Maori.”

The moral of the story is that neo-gays have reclaimed “fag” in the sense that “nigger” lost its potency in certain contexts. But just try using these words in the wrong company and you’ll find Larry David’s comedy is less fun in real life.

Rosie and I are saving up our money to open a shop called Yeast Infection that sells bread, beer, cottage cheese etc. and I think this would be a perfect product for us to stock.

Francois and I were going to make up some tasting notes for the new beers but in the end we just drank a whole lot of beer and got drunk, talking close to one anothers faces and laughing red-faced laughter (I could smell garlic on his breath).

Try this beer, you won’t be disappointed.