The Liquor Licensing Authority has a number of requirements any bar must satisfy if it is going to sell booze. Food needs to be available, a manager has to be on site… One of these is that beside the main entrance, you need to display a “Host Responsibility Policy”. This is a statement of intent by the bar that it will not sell piss to kids, will not serve wankered wankers, will call you a taxi etc.

Since we opened last year, our hilariously worded policy has sat beside the front door and been enjoyed by non-intoxicated patrons. Then, when I came back from my holiday on Monday I noticed some prick has ripped it off the wall and taken it home.

It never fails to amaze me what people want to pinch from bars…