The response to the blog regarding the human poo in the bar has been overwhelming. A medical professional who drinks at the bar said I should check out the Bristol Stool Chart. How is it that I have gone so long with a scatological obsession and not known about this gem?

After a discussion with staff we have decided the deposit was a Type Six Stool, “fluffy pieces with ragged edges, a mushy stool”. Type Six is described as “heading toward urgency”,  so maybe that is why they couldn’t wait to walk five metres to the toilets.