It’s hard to get good staff these days but every now and then someone shows up that just feels right. Our latest staff member has recently returned from doing nine months inside and is rearing to prove how honest and hardworking he is.

Meet Thomas. Little and round and like a small Dom DeLuise with his fat-party-guy shirt. His interests include lying down, rolling over, making noise and heavy drinking (breast).

Thomas is single and is looking to meet girls between zero and six months for friendship and maybe more.